I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
