My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
