I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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