so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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