i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
