The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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