is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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