And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
