If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
May the power of my ass compel you!!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
