OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my phone needs a breathalizer
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
