So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
