Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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