yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
