i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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