Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize