Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize