whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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