ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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