found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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