i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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