Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
