the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
