Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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