I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
