New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
