If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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