Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
