Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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