playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
