how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
