Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I understand Curling. That high.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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