just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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