Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
