Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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