So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
