You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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