a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize