SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
