If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
