Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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