I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
