just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
