okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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