considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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