I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
