FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He passed out mid-signature
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
