just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
