Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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