she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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