Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
