the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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