I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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