I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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