he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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