You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
