Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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