i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
