You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
