Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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