I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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