quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
