Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
