Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
