We won't sleep together?
I wanna bring you to show and tell
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
