every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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